"Got the 'Mute Your Mic. Feed Me.' mug. My actual boss (the cat) stared at it for a full minute, knocked it over, and then demanded his 10 a.m. snack. The mug survived. My productivity did not. It's the most honest thing I own."

"I'm 90% sure SnarkTank is just a side project run by one of my jaded former co-workers, and honestly? I respect the hustle. The quality is great, and the designs are so specific they're almost a personal attack. I'll take three."

"I wore my 'Bones of Chloe' hoodie to our Q4 planning meeting. My Creative Director saw it, nodded, and said, 'I like the brand brand alignment, it feels... legit.' He had no idea. It was the best meeting of my life."

"During a virtual all-hands meeting the new sales guy, full of confidence, said 'It's great to be at Jeb!' I unmuted, cleared my throat, and pointed at my shirt. He got very quiet, then said, '...oh. Is it J. E. B.?'. This shirt is doing the hard work I'm too tired to do myself."

"I wore my 'Affiliate Karen' shirt on a Zoom call (camera off, obvi) while listening to a partner demand to speak to my manager about a $.02 commission discrepancy. It gave me the strength to type 'per my last email' with a straight face. 10/10, will buy again."